Time, slow down please!

This post is mainly going to be me thinking out loud, so if you don't want to read about this Mommy's emotions scroll down to the precious picture and call it a day on my blog.

I have been completely taken off guard by how strong my emotions have hit me this morning! I truly believe with all of my heart that Brooke going to full time Pre-K here in New Home is what she needs and wants and that she will fully thrive, but I think I have always thought all along that I would have her to myself until at least age FIVE! Two weeks from this morning my angel will start full time, 7-1/2 hour a day preschool. A lot of things are going through my head, mainly time slow down! She is growing up so fast, that my emotions haven't had a chance to catch up just yet. I truly love being home with her, teaching her, playing with her, etc full time, so I will miss her! I told her this yesterday and she hugged me and said "I know Momma, but I will be fine. My teacher will take good care of me, and I promise I will come home when school is over." How sweet is that.....that she has to comfort me!

I think a lot of what is going on in my head is that I expected to be 100% ready to go back to work full time in an office when she started school. But, now that she is starting in a mere two weeks I catch myself longing even more to be home when she gets out of school, to be here on sick days, to be here during any and all breaks from school, snow days, etc.....and I feel guilty about that part. My sweet Steven works two jobs day in and day out so I can stay home with our angel, and I don't WANT to go back to work?! Yep, that's me feeling completely guilty right now. I pray constantly about making the right decisions for our marriage and our family.....and even jokingly about a winning lottery ticket so we don't have to worry about bills, but realistically, I just want to feel at ease with our decisions, and since this part is still an unknown I feel a pit in my stomach.

Okay, okay.....I will stop. Instead I am off the computer to go enjoy my angel on this beautiful Monday, will keep praying about decisions our family will face, and will call my wonderful husband yet again to weepily tell him how much I appreciate him and all he does for our family. To make you smile, because it always makes me smile......our princess, wearing what else besides purple growing up WAY TOO FAST!!!